Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Friday, December 7, 2012
"The holidays are just for kids."
"This time of year is always so stressful."
Have you heard these comments before? Have you said these comments before? I know I have. But really, what a waste of great opportunities for attachment and fun memory making. We have to be aware of creating the atmosphere. Here are a few ideas to help make this more of a reality-
1. Set a realistic budget and stick to it. Spending more than you have sets you up for stress and frustration.
2. Remember we parent to the emotional stage and not the chronological age. So with that in mind, are the gifts you buy your children/youth appropriate for their 'STAGE'? A question to ask yourself, "If I spend $100 on a gift and they don't have the capabilities to take care of it and it gets broken in five minutes, who is going to be upset? Will I be upset that my child couldn't care less?
3. Carl Jung said, "Our society is psychotic with business." Psychosis has extreme emotions and unfounded fears. The holidays can get crazy with wonderful and busy activities. What is it doing tho not only your child, but you too? What would it be like to slow down? Watch a holiday show, pop popcorn, and snuggle.
Sit and make ornaments together. One of my favorite times was when my mom and I cut ornaments out of card board and painted them. Buy a gingerbread house and put it together. Play a board game.
Are you kids overstimulated by all the business?
Are you overstimulated?'
Think ouside the box! What can you do to take the stress out and the fun and connection time in?
Friday, November 30, 2012
Monday, October 22, 2012
White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack
•Daily effects of white privilege
•Elusive and fugitive
•Earned strength, unearned power
"I was taught to see racism only in individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems conferring dominance on my group"
by Peggy McIntosh
Through work to bring materials from women's studies into the rest of the curriculum, I have often noticed men's unwillingness to grant that they are overprivileged, even though they may grant that women are disadvantaged. They may say they will work to women's statues, in the society, the university, or the curriculum, but they can't or won't support the idea of lessening men's. Denials that amount to taboos surround the subject of advantages that men gain from women's disadvantages. These denials protect male privilege from being fully acknowledged, lessened, or ended.
Thinking through unacknowledged male privilege as a phenomenon, I realized that, since hierarchies in our society are interlocking, there was most likely a phenomenon of while privilege that was similarly denied and protected. As a white person, I realized I had been taught about racism as something that puts others at a disadvantage, but had been taught not to see one of its corollary aspects, white privilege, which puts me at an advantage.
I think whites are carefully taught not to recognize white privilege, as males are taught not to recognize male privilege. So I have begun in an untutored way to ask what it is like to have white privilege. I have come to see white privilege as an invisible package of unearned assets that I can count on cashing in each day, but about which I was "meant" to remain oblivious. White privilege is like an invisible weightless knapsack of special provisions, maps, passports, codebooks, visas, clothes, tools , and blank checks.
Describing white privilege makes one newly accountable. As we in women's studies work to reveal male privilege and ask men to give up some of their power, so one who writes about having white privilege must ask, "having described it, what will I do to lessen or end it?"
After I realized the extent to which men work from a base of unacknowledged privilege, I understood that much of their oppressiveness was unconscious. Then I remembered the frequent charges from women of color that white women whom they encounter are oppressive. I began to understand why we are just seen as oppressive, even when we don't see ourselves that way. I began to count the ways in which I enjoy unearned skin privilege and have been conditioned into oblivion about its existence.
My schooling gave me no training in seeing myself as an oppressor, as an unfairly advantaged person, or as a participant in a damaged culture. I was taught to see myself as an individual whose moral state depended on her individual moral will. My schooling followed the pattern my colleague Elizabeth Minnich has pointed out: whites are taught to think of their lives as morally neutral, normative, and average, and also ideal, so that when we work to benefit others, this is seen as work that will allow "them" to be more like "us."
Daily effects of white privilege
I decided to try to work on myself at least by identifying some of the daily effects of white privilege in my life. I have chosen those conditions that I think in my case attach somewhat more to skin-color privilege than to class, religion, ethnic status, or geographic location, though of course all these other factors are intricately intertwined. As far as I can tell, my African American coworkers, friends, and acquaintances with whom I come into daily or frequent contact in this particular time, place and time of work cannot count on most of these conditions.
1. I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.
2. I can avoid spending time with people whom I was trained to mistrust and who have learned to mistrust my kind or me.
3. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchasing housing in an area which I can afford and in which I would want to live.
4. I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me.
5. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed.
6. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.
7. When I am told about our national heritage or about "civilization," I am shown that people of my color made it what it is.
8. I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their race.
9. If I want to, I can be pretty sure of finding a publisher for this piece on white privilege.
10. I can be pretty sure of having my voice heard in a group in which I am the only member of my race.
11. I can be casual about whether or not to listen to another person's voice in a group in which s/he is the only member of his/her race.
12. I can go into a music shop and count on finding the music of my race represented, into a supermarket and find the staple foods which fit with my cultural traditions, into a hairdresser's shop and find someone who can cut my hair.
13. Whether I use checks, credit cards or cash, I can count on my skin color not to work against the appearance of financial reliability.
14. I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who might not like them.
15. I do not have to educate my children to be aware of systemic racism for their own daily physical protection.
16. I can be pretty sure that my children's teachers and employers will tolerate them if they fit school and workplace norms; my chief worries about them do not concern others' attitudes toward their race.
17. I can talk with my mouth full and not have people put this down to my color.
18. I can swear, or dress in second hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute these choices to the bad morals, the poverty or the illiteracy of my race.
19. I can speak in public to a powerful male group without putting my race on trial.
20. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my race.
21. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group.
22. I can remain oblivious of the language and customs of persons of color who constitute the world's majority without feeling in my culture any penalty for such oblivion.
23. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as a cultural outsider.
24. I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to the "person in charge", I will be facing a person of my race.
25. If a traffic cop pulls me over or if the IRS audits my tax return, I can be sure I haven't been singled out because of my race.
26. I can easily buy posters, post-cards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys and children's magazines featuring people of my race.
27. I can go home from most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance or feared.
28. I can be pretty sure that an argument with a colleague of another race is more likely to jeopardize her/his chances for advancement than to jeopardize mine.
29. I can be pretty sure that if I argue for the promotion of a person of another race, or a program centering on race, this is not likely to cost me heavily within my present setting, even if my colleagues disagree with me.
30. If I declare there is a racial issue at hand, or there isn't a racial issue at hand, my race will lend me more credibility for either position than a person of color will have.
31. I can choose to ignore developments in minority writing and minority activist programs, or disparage them, or learn from them, but in any case, I can find ways to be more or less protected from negative consequences of any of these choices.
32. My culture gives me little fear about ignoring the perspectives and powers of people of other races.
33. I am not made acutely aware that my shape, bearing or body odor will be taken as a reflection on my race.
34. I can worry about racism without being seen as self-interested or self-seeking.
35. I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having my co-workers on the job suspect that I got it because of my race.
36. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it had racial overtones.
37. I can be pretty sure of finding people who would be willing to talk with me and advise me about my next steps, professionally.
38. I can think over many options, social, political, imaginative or professional, without asking whether a person of my race would be accepted or allowed to do what I want to do.
39. I can be late to a meeting without having the lateness reflect on my race.
40. I can choose public accommodation without fearing that people of my race cannot get in or will be mistreated in the places I have chosen.
41. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help, my race will not work against me.
42. I can arrange my activities so that I will never have to experience feelings of rejection owing to my race.
43. If I have low credibility as a leader I can be sure that my race is not the problem.
44. I can easily find academic courses and institutions which give attention only to people of my race.
45. I can expect figurative language and imagery in all of the arts to testify to experiences of my race.
46. I can chose blemish cover or bandages in "flesh" color and have them more or less match my skin.
47. I can travel alone or with my spouse without expecting embarrassment or hostility in those who deal with us.
48. I have no difficulty finding neighborhoods where people approve of our household.
49. My children are given texts and classes which implicitly support our kind of family unit and do not turn them against my choice of domestic partnership.
50. I will feel welcomed and "normal" in the usual walks of public life, institutional and social.
Elusive and fugitive
I repeatedly forgot each of the realizations on this list until I wrote it down. For me white privilege has turned out to be an elusive and fugitive subject. The pressure to avoid it is great, for in facing it I must give up the myth of meritocracy. If these things are true, this is not such a free country; one's life is not what one makes it; many doors open for certain people through no virtues of their own.
In unpacking this invisible knapsack of white privilege, I have listed conditions of daily experience that I once took for granted. Nor did I think of any of these perquisites as bad for the holder. I now think that we need a more finely differentiated taxonomy of privilege, for some of these varieties are only what one would want for everyone in a just society, and others give license to be ignorant, oblivious, arrogant, and destructive.
I see a pattern running through the matrix of white privilege, a patter of assumptions that were passed on to me as a white person. There was one main piece of cultural turf; it was my own turn, and I was among those who could control the turf. My skin color was an asset for any move I was educated to want to make. I could think of myself as belonging in major ways and of making social systems work for me. I could freely disparage, fear, neglect, or be oblivious to anything outside of the dominant cultural forms. Being of the main culture, I could also criticize it fairly freely.
In proportion as my racial group was being made confident, comfortable, and oblivious, other groups were likely being made unconfident, uncomfortable, and alienated. Whiteness protected me from many kinds of hostility, distress, and violence, which I was being subtly trained to visit, in turn, upon people of color.
For this reason, the word "privilege" now seems to me misleading. We usually think of privilege as being a favored state, whether earned or conferred by birth or luck. Yet some of the conditions I have described here work systematically to over empower certain groups. Such privilege simply confers dominance because of one's race or sex.
Earned strength, unearned power
I want, then, to distinguish between earned strength and unearned power conferred privilege can look like strength when it is in fact permission to escape or to dominate. But not all of the privileges on my list are inevitably damaging. Some, like the expectation that neighbors will be decent to you, or that your race will not count against you in court, should be the norm in a just society. Others, like the privilege to ignore less powerful people, distort the humanity of the holders as well as the ignored groups.
We might at least start by distinguishing between positive advantages, which we can work to spread, and negative types of advantage, which unless rejected will always reinforce our present hierarchies. For example, the feeling that one belongs within the human circle, as Native Americans say, should not be seen as privilege for a few. Ideally it is an unearned entitlement. At present, since only a few have it, it is an unearned advantage for them. This paper results from a process of coming to see that some of the power that I originally say as attendant on being a human being in the United States consisted in unearned advantage and conferred dominance.
I have met very few men who truly distressed about systemic, unearned male advantage and conferred dominance. And so one question for me and others like me is whether we will be like them, or whether we will get truly distressed, even outraged, about unearned race advantage and conferred dominance, and, if so, what we will do to lessen them. In any case, we need to do more work in identifying how they actually affect our daily lives. Many, perhaps most, of our white students in the United States think that racism doesn't affect them because they are not people of color; they do not see "whiteness" as a racial identity. In addition, since race and sex are not the only advantaging systems at work, we need similarly to examine the daily experience of having age advantage, or ethnic advantage, or physical ability, or advantage related to nationality, religion, or sexual orientation.
Difficulties and angers surrounding the task of finding parallels are many. Since racism, sexism, and heterosexism are not the same, the advantages associated with them should not be seen as the same. In addition, it is hard to disentangle aspects of unearned advantage that rest more on social class, economic class, race, religion, sex, and ethnic identity that on other factors. Still, all of the oppressions are interlocking, as the members of the Combahee River Collective pointed out in their "Black Feminist Statement" of 1977.
One factor seems clear about all of the interlocking oppressions. They take both active forms, which we can see, and embedded forms, which as a member of the dominant groups one is taught not to see. In my class and place, I did not see myself as a racist because I was taught to recognize racism only in individual acts of meanness by members of my group, never in invisible systems conferring unsought racial dominance on my group from birth.
Disapproving of the system won't be enough to change them. I was taught to think that racism could end if white individuals changed their attitude. But a "white" skin in the United States opens many doors for whites whether or not we approve of the way dominance has been conferred on us. Individual acts can palliate but cannot end, these problems.
To redesign social systems we need first to acknowledge their colossal unseen dimensions. The silences and denials surrounding privilege are the key political surrounding privilege are the key political tool here. They keep the thinking about equality or equity incomplete, protecting unearned advantage and conferred dominance by making these subject taboo. Most talk by whites about equal opportunity seems to me now to be about equal opportunity to try to get into a position of dominance while denying that systems of dominance exist.
It seems to me that obliviousness about white advantage, like obliviousness about male advantage, is kept strongly inculturated in the United States so as to maintain the myth of meritocracy, the myth that democratic choice is equally available to all. Keeping most people unaware that freedom of confident action is there for just a small number of people props up those in power and serves to keep power in the hands of the same groups that have most of it already.
Although systemic change takes many decades, there are pressing questions for me and, I imagine, for some others like me if we raise our daily consciousness on the perquisites of being light-skinned. What will we do with such knowledge? As we know from watching men, it is an open question whether we will choose to use unearned advantage, and whether we will use any of our arbitrarily awarded power to try to reconstruct power systems on a broader base.
Peggy McIntosh is associate director of the Wellesley Collage Center for Research on Women. This essay is excerpted from Working Paper 189. "White Privilege and Male Privilege: A Personal Account of Coming To See Correspondences through Work in Women's Studies" (1988), by Peggy McIntosh; available for $10.00 from the Wellesley College Center for Research on Women, Wellesley MA 02181 The working paper contains a longer list of privileges.
This excerpted essay is reprinted from the Winter 1990 issue of Independent School.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
S Search inside yourself to see why you are uncomfortable with adoption. Do you think that it is shameful? Second-best? Are you worried that your child will be hurt by stories surrounding the beginning of her life? You need to work through these questions on your own before you can discuss them with your kid. Take a weekend or an evening away for reflection, read some adoption books, talk to another adoptive parent or Fiesta family contact to sort out your own feelings. But don’t put it off.
Bring up adoption generically with your child for a few days. There are many books (available in our library or online) that incorporate adoption into the story. Make adoption language familiar. Talk about the many ways that families are formed. Go online to find pictures of families that don’t all look alike and discuss it with your child. Talk about where babies come from.
Watch a movie together that has an adoption theme that you like. Some might make you cringe. (No, Travis, we are not wealthy enough to ride in a carriage through Central Park to see a Broadway Show, breaking into song along the way.) There are some good ones out there that will help jumpstart the discussion. Fiesta staff will be glad to give you suggestions if you need some to relate with your child‘s developmental level or situation.
Don’t put it off any longer. Make it part of a natural conversation, not stressful or serious-scary. If your child is old enough to be upset that he or she wasn’t told earlier, apologize. We all make mistakes, you should have told him sooner, now it’s time to pick up the pieces and let your child know that your love is solid and has always been there, just as it will continue to be.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Friday, August 31, 2012
Sometimes when I'm around 'those other parents' who are overwhelmed by their kids’ C in math I want to scream, "You have NO IDEA what overwhelmed is all about!" Some days I'm so overwhelmed by the needs that are waiting to be met and the daily concerns for keeping everyone safe, that I sometimes I can't even make myself cry. My body needs to but my mind says "No Time For that!" I see these perfectly manicured mothers who are dragging their kids along while I'm blessed that mine are "timed-in” and safe to this overweight, sometimes-showered mom!
The point is... we keep going. We can't stop and get stuck. We can't consider defeat and I, for one, refuse to be backed into a corner. Somedays, all I can do is to decide to roll with the changes and make sure everyone is safe! The things that overwhelmed me a few years ago I don't even feel today. Life truly is good. Monica Cohu.
“I'm glad our house isn't the only one I feel should be wearing warning signs that say ‘Family Under Construction,’ ‘Things may get loud,’ ‘Beware: High Voltage-Emotional Overload Danger!’ Sarah McCord
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
This is Tim Martinez from Northern NM. I am the adoptive father of six, that's right, six children. I never thought I would or could be the father of such wonderful and amazing kiddos. I also never thought that I would be writing on a blog!
I wanted to chime in on this blog to touch base with other families that have adopted, that are thinking about adoption or just found this blog at three in the morning cause you couldn't sleep!
Being a parent is the toughest job out there, hands down. I only wonder what tomorrow will bring, sometimes with hesitation, sometimes with happiness, sometimes with plain old fear!
I have been through Crazy Town many times in my trek to bring up a well connected, happy, and fun to be around child. I purposely left out the adjectives: responsible,successful,and respected. I believe that if I raise my children to be well connected, happy and fun to be around, the other things will fall into place. Easy to say and a bit harder to do.
My wife is the glue that keeps everything together. She is just an awesome person! I wonder where she hides her battery pack cause she just never stops going.
Which brings me to the point of my message. WE NEED EACH OTHER!! We need our wives, we need our husbands, we need our partners. We need friends, family members, co-workers. We are human beings, and being as such we are biologically made to need other human interaction.
I am not a versed writer or have my English Lit major, as you can surely tell, however, I got behind my computer and had to try and send a message that we need to form a sense of community again, We need to help one another. When I need help with something, I call call on my wife, a neighbor, or a close friend.
Building a close friendship does not happen overnight, and we have to open up ourselves and be a bit vulnerable(which is terribly hard for most males, myself included). The rewards are worth more than rubies or gold!
So I am calling on all who read this blog from an old man up in northern NM to start forming a community based way to bring up our kids. Call a friend, family member or neighbor at start the process of building relationships and tight knit bonds that will stand strong through all the storms that families like ours go through everyday.
Lets raise some well connected, happy and fun to be around kids!
Monday, August 20, 2012
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
I have thirteen kids. I can remember when I found out that I was pregnant for number 4, my husband’s jogging buddy, a psychologist, was appalled. “How can you possibly have a connected relationship with all of those kids!?” he asked. (I wonder what he would say now.) But it is a question worth asking, and is becoming controversial in some adoption circles- is it really a good thing to have such a large family, especially when some of them have a lot of issues?
All families have similarities, but things work differently in a large household. There are a lot of pluses- my kids always have someone to play with, someone to whisper with at night in their rooms; any special occasion becomes a party and we can have a full scale soccer game or basketball game when the whole family gets together; the birthday song is LOUD; there’s plenty of love to go around. And there are some challenges- my kids always have someone to argue with and blame, someone to interrupt their sleep with a bad dream or early morning chatter, a special occasion can be overwhelming, the birthday song is LOUD, and sometimes it can feel like there’s not always enough time to go around.
There are two things that I learned as a young mom that really help me make sure that no one gets less than their share of time and love. I heard the phrase, “God doesn’t love us all, He loves us each,” and I decided to make that one of my mantras. Each child needs to be appreciated as an important individual and not just as a part of the crowd. Secondly, my kids all help out- they help with the dishes, each others’ homework, feeding our zoo of pets, doing their own laundry. But the one thing that they never help me with is parenting. The fact that they have responsibilities frees my husband and I to spend the time, teach the lessons, give the hugs, and then everyone can play. It can be difficult, at times, just like any family, but well worth it. I love my crazy, busy, loud and happy houseful of characters.
By the way, many of my kids are grown and on their own. My household consists of my husband and me, a helpful college student daughter, two disabled adults and five kids. Even though they don’t all still live at home, I like to tell people I have thirteen just to see the look on their faces. It’s all part of the fun.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Recently, Dr Alexander quoted on our fiesta Face Book page..."Sometimes the question is not so much of attachment, but attunement: the capacity of the parent to be emotionally in tune with the child. Many children are well attached to their parents, but the latter are too stressed or too distracted to be attuned to their kids ...." Gabor Mate, from 'What Ails Us,' The Sun, August 2012. It really rang true to me. In browsing some of my online adoption groups over the summer, I noticed several people asking, “How do I know when my child becomes attached?” or “How long does it take for a child to attach?” as if it is a one-time event. Little Sammy goes to bed on Tuesday unattached and wakes up on Wednesday securely attached. I don’t know. I see attachment as a spectrum or an on-going process over a lonnngg period of time- something that needs to be planted and watered, tended and nurtured until my child is grown and beyond. And what happens when you finally decide (or your therapist tells you) that your child has “attached?” Does that mean that you can slowly back away into your meaningful adult activities and check on your child occasionally, while she is playing video games in the other room?
I decided that I love the term, “attunement.” instead. (Quite honestly, I’ve lived in the world of adoption long enough to become quite tired of “attachment” talk.) Attunement means that I pay attention to my child’s behavior and act accordingly. This summer, one of my daughters has asked several times to have alone time with me. It’s what she needs and she been able to ask for it clearly. But when a few days or a week go by without my schedule allowing it, her behavior warns me that there will be trouble if I do not attune myself to her. Attunement means that I do not just listen to the spoken requests, or the hints of bad behavior, but even the nuances of eye contact and inflections. It requires me to be fully aware and present with each of my children to read between the lines and adjust my schedule, my tone, my expectations and my reactions to dance with my child.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Those of you who attended the state adoption conference had the pleasure of hearing the presentation about the Alert Program. This system of teaching a child to self-regulate, uses the term “heavy work” to describe activities to help a child regulate their energy level. Whether a child needs to perk up or calm down, these types of activities can be instrumental in getting them to “just right.” As explained in the book, "The Out-of-Sync Child", this idea is based on the proprioceptive sense.
1. * Take a thick rope, 7 or 8 yards long and park your car on top of it. The child can try to pull it out. Or hold one end of the rope while standing still and have your child lie on the floor holding the other end. He can try to get to you by pulling the rope hand over hand. (To add an attachment component see if he can play the no-blinking game at the same time or reward him with a silly kiss when he reaches you, or let him put a sticker on your face) Or make knots in the rope and play tug-of-war. Or make it into a circle and jump in and out of it.
2. *Fill two-liter bottles with water and then add food coloring or glitter, or small objects. Glue the tops on. Shake. Tip back and forth. Carry in hands, pull in a wagon, push with a stick, kick or bury.
3. *Crash onto a pile of pillows or beanbag chair.
4. *Get a section of log and let your child hammer nails into it. If this is too difficult, use golf tees and stiff foam. Get a piece of wood and hammer a nail design or name into it.
5. * Place heavy food items around the house and have your child “shop” for them, placing each one in a big plastic tub or bucket and pushing it from room to room. Try using books, bags of rice or beans, or your filled two-liter bottles.
6. * “Oh my gosh! The wall is falling down! Help me push it back up!” Stand against the wall and push with all your might holding your hands up high, or down low, or use your hips, your knees or your shoulder.
7. *Carry buckets to water plants. Rearrange the furniture. Have pillow fights. Chew beef jerky. Sit your child on the washer during the agitation and spin cycle while standing close by. Help in the garden. Wrap up tight in a blanket.
Making these kinds of activities a regular part of your child’s day can help her keep in a calm, alert state before a problem arises or help veer away from a melt-down if you can catch it early enough. Googling “proprioceptive activities for kids” can give a hundreds of ideas. Sensory activities can also add that component of “fun” into your day. Helping my child's state of awareness reach it's perfect level, helping him become successful, re-programming those pesky neurological pathways and have fun doing it? What could be better than that?
Friday, May 4, 2012
Mother’s Day Special!
Fiesta wants to treat all Moms!
Mom, dads & kids will meet at
Indian Hills Elementary at 3 p.m. - Gallup, NM - Region I
The dads & kids will meet in the cafeteria for snacks & to do some special things for the moms & to play on the playground from 3-5 p.m.
The moms will go to Camielle's Sidewalk Cafe together for coffee and dessert and for time to talk with each other.
Around 4:45 pm the moms will go back to Indian Hills to meet up with the dads and kids.
Please RSVP by Monday, May 7th with number of people from your family attending so that we will know how to plan!
Brian & Sheila Kruis
Fiesta Family Contacts
Region I - Gallup
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
"This weekend was much needed and appreciated!"
" Hugh efforts of support I received"
"Help me understand my own insanity and realized I wasn't alone"
"Helped me and my partner reconnect and may have even saved our relationship"
" The best weekend I have had in the past 10 years since I adopted my first child"
These are such powerful statements, knowing that I am a part of a special group the "NM FIESTA" that have brought so much support and needed connection to so many families throughout the state. I am already looking forward to providing this type of event again to families in the Southwest Region Luna, Grant, Dona Ana, Otero, Lincoln, Sierra and Socorro Counties.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Ever feel like those darling children that you adore may be getting on your nerves just the teeniest bit? Fiesta is pleased to offer our families two different programs to help re-charge. According to Adopt US Kids, research shows that respite care reduces stress in families, decreases the risk of abuse and neglect and marital tensions and helps fend off feelings of depression and aloneness.
The “Rest and Reconnection” weekends are scheduled to start this winter. There will be one retreat in each of five regions across the state, serving five to seven families each. Participants, (either a couple or a single parent with a support person) will be invited to stay at a local inn for two nights of kicking back and having fun. They will have time to go out together, attend informative trainings to gain new tools for parenting hurt kids, interact with other families, have a private session with a family coach to address specific concerns, be matched with a contact who will be available after the retreat, and leave with resources and gifts that will benefit their families. Local businesses are already starting to pitch in to provide families with gift certificates. Weck’s, Hinkle Family Fun Center, Desert Gardens Chile and Spice Company, Jinja Bistro, End of the Rainbow Massage, Jimmy John’s Gourmet Sandwiches, Sports and Wellness and CSP Dance Studio have already generously offered to partner with Fiesta to help these families get a needed break.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Most days I start out with a to-do list. Sometimes it’s only a mental list, but I have plenty to do and goals that I need to accomplish. My children, though, are usually not aware or appreciative of my “important things to do.” Well-intentioned, I begin my day like a trip, hoping to arrive at certain destinations along the way. I need to get everybody settled into their daily routines- first stop. Next, I’ve got to walk on the treadmill for thirty minutes- second stop. I need to make three phone calls by ten in the morning- third stop. I’m just going through my day, guided by my inner GPS, hoping to get things done. Today, as I encountered one interruption after another, the phrase, “re-calculating…” kept running through my mind. I wanted to leave the house at ten to get some things done, but I had an opportunity to have a long conversation with one of my kids. Re-calculating. I mentally re-arranged the things that could wait and decided to leave at eleven. But my two home schooled kids needed help with their math and that had to take priority. Re-calculating. As the day went along, and the interruptions piled up, the to-do list didn’t seem to be shrinking. I made a lot of u-turns and changed my direction and took detours and found another route. Now that it’s evening and I have time to reflect on the day, I realize that the kid-directed detours that I took from my carefully planned schedule were the sweet parts of the day- the important parts. We may have had macaroni and cheese out of a box for supper, but the important things on my list were taken care of- the people that I care about- and the other things will just have to wait until tomorrow.
Monday, January 2, 2012
by Traci Tippett, LISW
Friday, January 6, 2012
Please pick one of the sessions below:
1-4 p.m. in the GMCS Central Office Board Room
(no child care available for this session)
5-8 p.m. at Indian Hills Elementary
Supper provided at 5 p.m.
Free Child Care for Adoptive & PreAdoptive Families
Professional CEU's available and/or CYFD credit hours
Please RSVP to Brian or Sheila @ 505-863-2645
by Wed. Jan. 4th at noon
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
We have our first training of the year for ABQ and a new group."CIRCLE OF SECURITY" w/ Leah Brouwers
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
If you’re not a member of out facebook group- join! We are so excited about the way it has become a place meet with other adoptive parents, anytime, day or night. This past week, an adoptive parent posted, for the first time, about the difficulty she is having with her child. Within hours of her post , there were 12 comments, encouraging her and welcoming her to the group. Here are some of them.